I was battling depression since April 2015, when someone I loved left me. It was the hardest journey of my life and I can remember that for 5 months, I wouldn't go out, talk to anyone. I would be sad and cry myself to sleep and even think about suicide. I got all the help I could ask for from my Supernatural family and for that, I am so grateful. This family has done so much for me and right now, I'm happier than I could imagine. Thank you.
I struggle with severe anxiety. It went into agoraphobia causing me to not work for almost a year. On top of that, my Lupus really flared (probably from stress). Proud to say I got back into work field. ..still struggle, but am no longer homebound!!!
This coming June marks six years since I started my struggle with a djinn I call depression. I've dealt with heaps, including self harm, suicidal thoughts and even a few attempts. Thanks to my family and the love and support from Jared (meta Sam) and this amazing fandom, I'm alive and winning my battle. It may get hard at times, but we are in this together no matter what we hunt, we just gotta Always Keep Fighting.
It started when my cousin raped me from the age of 5-8. It Also started when my best friend killed himself only a few years later . He was constantly bullied and even now it felt like I was never there for him. That was three years ago. I got really bad after that. I attempted suicide four different times. Just anything to keep the pain away. I had really bad anxiety and I never did anything anymore. I was always inside. I used to cut terribly and every night I would tell myself this is the last night. Family home wasn't much better; my parents were always screaming and making it worse. Then high school hit. I started to forget things about him. The way he smelled. The way he would laugh. I had burned all his pictures and his family moved out of the country. They wanted to forget. Its difficult dealing with a severe depression on top of high school. I couldn't deal with it. But then I met some of the greatest friends. People like me. And even though they didn't know me, I knew them. Supernatural saved me from a lot of things. I felt their pain, things I felt myself. They helped me from everything and I can never thank them enough. I love you guys so much ❤ thank you
I am declaring my victory in my battle against self-hate, self-harm, and depression. I have gone 3 full months without a single harming thought or action against myself. I am truly happy. I left the environment that was so toxic to me and I moved in with my fiance and I's best friends. Since moving in, not once have I felt the need to hide who I am or how I feel. I've even felt good enough about myself to start a fitness plan and I've stuck with it. I forgave those who had hurt me in the past and I've truly never felt better. Oddly enough, this change in demeanor happened when my fiance went away to boot camp and I was left alone. I had a choice. Spiral back down that dark road or rise up and be free. I chose freedom, freedom from my own inner darkness and I've never felt better. I volunteered to be a text helpline crisis counselor and I've helped saved lives, and there is no better feeling than helping people who are going through the same thing I defeated. I know the darkness will always be inside me, that's human nature, but the light is so much stronger, and I am doing my very best to shine bright for others to see.
A few years ago, I went through a rough patch. My job was downsizing, my health was not good, and my two best friends (who I spent almost all my time with) were pulling away. The girl had been like a sister to me, but this guy came between us, leaving me in bankruptcy and alone...jobless. My lowest point was when I tried to get him to pay me back money he owed me and he refused, she kept talking with him and I took a handful of pills. Neither noticed. Thank God I made it!
Then I discovered Supernatural, got involved with some of the online fans, and met my new best friend because of the character of Lucifer. I've been to a convention, met a few of the guys, and am going to another in January. My life is good, I'm happy and blessed because of this show and the actors. Love them all!
When I was young I have been bullied both by adults and other children. In my first year of secondary, my house burned and my parents divorced 10 days after. I have started to feel alone, sad, useless without self-esteem. It was getting worse each day. I started to think on how to kill myself and I started mutilating myself. When I had 18 years old, I attempt for the second time to kill myself and they diagnosed me as TPL and TDAH and major depression. After 10 years of struggling, I can say that I stop trying to kill myself (I have tried like 20 times but two of them bring me to the hospital), I smile, I laugh and I love myself. Also no more mutilation. It's not easy everyday, but I have fight and I will always keep fighting for me and for the one I love and the one that love me!!
My older sister recently moved in with her boyfriend last month and it's been weird without her here. She's literally the Dean to my Sam (she's four years older than I am, haha).
I was so used to calling her over to where I was sitting to show her something that I knew she would like, but then I'd be disappointed because I would remember that she wasn't there anymore.
I'm happy that she's moved in with her boyfriend and I'm no longer sad that she's gone because I know that she's only a phone call or text message away if I want to talk to her.
I started writing this as a hunt in process until I realized that this is actually a victory. I recently got married and moved to a new state. Just to clarify I adore my husband! He is wonderful and super supportive...but it's still been a hard transition. Moving away from my family has been the worst. Like the boys, I'm very co-dependent on them and in particular my sisters. Being away from school and getting new jobs has also been rough. I've worked hard to stay positive and give myself room to process but it's still been hard. Visiting my family for summer break was like taking a breath of air. As I drove away I wasn't thrilled with the thought of going back under but that's when I realized that my hunt is my victory. Yes, I just made a huge life change but I'm processing it pretty well. I can call sisters anytime I want, I get to start my own family, and I have a magnificent job loving kids who need it most. Transitions suck sometimes but they don't have to suck forever. Thanks to my people, some superb fiction (thanks boys), and Jesus, I can declare my hunt victorious.
I have ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety. Those things are hard to manage on their own and let alone all at the same time. I started failing school, I didn't want to be around anyone, and honestly I could've cared less if a car came speeding at me. I would lay in my room for hours wondering if anyone even cared. Would I even be missed? I was failing so I felt like my parents must think I'm no good. I felt ugly, gross, and unlikable. I couldn't talk to anyone if I wanted to, not even to order food or ask for a pencil. After three years of wondering what was wrong with myself, I asked my dad if I could go see someone about it. He told me that I was fine and nothing was wrong with me. That made me feel worse. It made me feel even more so like something was wrong with me. Like I was just too weak to handle it on my own, that I was overreacting, and that it was all my fault that this was happening. I found help in people who understood I needed a friend and that I needed to feel like I was accepted. I needed to understand that everything that was driving me insane, wasn't my fault. That it wasn't something I was doing to myself and it could be helped. I wasn't hopeless. Even though I still struggle some with feeling overwhelmed and anxious, I'm trying my best to learn to control it. Either way, I'm so glad to have such wonderful friends now and because of them I want to help anyone else I can.
